i think my tv is drunk
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
how drunk are you?
Several
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
