If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My feet surprised me
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
