Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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