Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
