i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize