i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
