Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
