And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just gargled with NyQuil
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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