Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
