No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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