She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
