I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
