I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
