member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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