I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
