who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
