It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
