Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
