k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
