So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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