Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
