Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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