it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
