he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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