Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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