Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
