3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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