i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i just google imaged poop.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
