That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We are all done wearing pants today
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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