break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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