Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My legs feel like baby dolphins
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
