Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Never underestimate the power of titties
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
