my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
