lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
