watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
