You're completely useless in the revolution.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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