Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
