Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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