my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
just found out that she named her cat after me.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
