Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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