we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
