Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
