The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
