i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
