Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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