I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
