I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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