Where is the hickey?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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