we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
