i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Randomize