theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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