I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
