I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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