You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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