physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
