phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
