On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
