If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
