i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The feeling are messing with the penis
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
PANTIES FOUND
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
