im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
